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Well, no not really. But close, right?

Compare to the “even so” symbol in one of these album cover designs.

Jill Hamrick also has a tattoo based on it.

Several people kept telling Jaimie that she needed to visit the open air market in Chattanooga because it “seemed like her kind of thing.” Jaimie called us because I guess she figured it would be our kind of thing, too. Yesterday, while Ben was hanging with his grand’rents, the Jones and the Catoes piled into a de-carseated Civic and hit the Chatty.

The open-air market was indeed cool and it looked like there are different themes each week through December. Yesterday was Oktoberfest and so we heard live Polka music. You seethe with jealousy, yes?

Ever since Kris and I ate at Aretha Frankensteins on our last trip to the Chatty, we’ve been meaning to go back with friends in tow. The Jones were amenable to Aretha’s and the four of us stuffed ourselves on cornmeal pancakes and jalapeno hashbrowns.

High on coffee and getting out of Gadsden for a half day, we had silly conversations on the way home. This one was my favorite:

“Hey,” Jaimie says to Jimmy. “I’ve thought of a Biblical name if we have a son someday… Nicodemus!”

“I’ve always liked the name Nick,” Kris comments.

“You need a middle name from the Godfather,” I add.

“Nicodemus Corleone.”

“And in case you end up with twins,” I continue, “Let’s say a boy and a girl, you’re gonna need a nice name to go with Nicodemus.”

We begin brainstorming with literary and musical references. Now it is decided that if Jaimie ever has twins, she’ll be naming them Nicodemus Corleone and Narnia Garfunkel Jones.

Every time I checked my Hotmail yesterday, MSN offered me “10 Secrets of the Effortlessly Thin.” What an annoying title, I thought. Finally, I decided to read it and see if it was worth my ire.

10 Secrets of the Effortlessly Thin
By Sally Wadyka for MSN Health & Fitness

The majority of thin people—whether they have been lean all their life or managed to lose weight and keep it off—share several healthy strategies that help them stay thin and healthy with seemingly little effort. Here are 10 secrets you need to know in order to join the ranks of the thin.

FYI, if I am in fact “effortlessly thin,” then I fall into the portion that “managed to lose weight and keep it off.” The secret to my success? Severe Emotional Stress — Ask me how!

They don’t diet
Or at least not in the traditional, all-or-nothing, deprivation sense of the word. “You need to get rid of that diet mentality and realize that what you are doing is making a permanent lifestyle change,” says Anne Fletcher, M.S., R.D., author of the Thin for Life book series. She adds, “You do have to cut back on calories if you want to stay thin, but it’s about reassessing what you eat and being more sensible in your choices, not about a quick-fix, crazy diet.” Research has also shown that thin people tend to have a better quality diet than those who are overweight. They eat more fruits and vegetables and more fiber, and drink more water—all healthy things that provide more food volume for the number of calories.

True. I do not diet. And I have made several lifestyle changes over the years (f’rinstance, I no longer drink sweet tea or soda).

They keep track of their weight
Thin people know how much they weigh, and they monitor that number by stepping on the scale frequently. It’s not about a having an unhealthy fixation on that number on the scale, but it’s a way to catch a 5-pound gain before it suddenly turns into a 20-pound gain. “Aim to keep your weight within a five-pound range, and if you see it go above that buffer zone, make sure you have an immediate plan of action for how to address it,” suggests Fletcher.

False. I have no idea what I weigh. I mean, I could guess, but that’s not the same.

They exercise regularly
“In my research, 9 out of 10 people who’ve lost weight and maintained it exercise regularly and make it a critical part of their lives,” says Fletcher. Even if you’ve never been a fitness fanatic, it’s not too late to get moving. Even taking a few 15-minute walks throughout the day will be a move in the right direction. Once you start to enjoy the mood-boosting and calorie-burning advantages of exercise, start looking for ways to keep your workouts interesting. Join a local gym and try a variety of classes and cardio machines, find friends to walk with, or experiment with at-home exercise DVDs.

False. I attend yoga once a week, but the only other regular exercise I get is carrying around a 27 pound toddler and going up and down a flight of stairs at least a dozen times every day.

They don’t solve problems with food
Almost everyone is guilty of occasionally drowning their sorrows in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s or taking out frustration on a batch of brownies, but thin people definitely don’t make it a habit. “They tend not to eat purely for emotional reasons,” says Fletcher. When you are upset (or bored, lonely, frustrated or angry), she suggests asking yourself: Is food really going to solve the problem, or will it just end up making you feel worse after you finish eating? Chances are, the food won’t fix what’s bothering you, so it’s important to come up with a list of other small pleasures you can turn to instead of food. Some ideas include going for a walk, watching a movie, calling a friend, playing with your kids, or taking a bubble bath.

Half-true. Stress, as I’ve mentioned, kills my appetite. But I will eat out of boredom. I never have a pint of Ben & Jerry’s on hand, though, so I’m more likely to console my boredom with a bowl of cereal.

They stop eating when they’re full
Most thin people are not members of the clean-plate club. Instead of mindlessly eating however much they are served, they pay attention to internal hunger cues and satiety. “Thin people are tuned into noticing when they are satisfied, and they stop eating even if there is food left,” says Jill Fleming, M.S., R.D., author of Thin People Don’t Clean Their Plates (Inspiration Presentations Press, 2005). “They often report that they don’t like that feeling of being uncomfortably full, so they’ve learned how to stop before they reach it.”

Half-true. If I am at home, I will stop eating when I’m full. If I’m at a restaurant, enjoying food that wouldn’t make good leftovers (chicken nachos, anyone?), I will eat beyond the point of fullness.

They are right about disliking feeling uncomfortably full. It seems dumb that we have to train ourselves to not gorge on good food, but we do. I am so much better these days about assessing a spread of party foods or a family buffet and thinking to myself “you only have so much room, start with what you know you love.”

They don’t surround themselves with temptation
Rather than stocking the cupboards with junk food, thin people’s kitchens tend to be filled with healthy foods. That doesn’t mean you can never have any indulgences in the house, just that you shouldn’t have so many that you’re likely to overeat them. For example, if you love to bake, give most of your sweets away to friends, or have your kids bring them to school or soccer practice, leaving just a few behind to enjoy yourself.

True. There is often an “indulgence food” somewhere in my pantry, but there are also less indulgent options.

They allow themselves treats
It’s the opposite of the deprivation mentality that many overweight (but dieting) people espouse: Thin people let themselves eat what they crave, sometimes even indulging in a treat every day. “The difference is that they do it consciously, choosing exactly what they really want to eat and then eating slowly and enjoying it,” says Fleming. So if it’s chocolate you want, don’t try to eat around the craving with an array of foods that don’t really satisfy you. Instead, allow yourself to have a small but really delicious chocolate bar and put the craving to rest.

True. I usually want something sweet after both lunch and dinner, but a little goes a long way. This is where preparation helps. Yesterday, I took the last two Oreos from home and they were my after-lunch sweet. Today, I had nothing and so I bought a whole bag of cookies.

They eat breakfast
According to the National Weight Control Registry, which tracks the habits and strategies of more than 5,000 people who have maintained a significant weight loss, nearly 80 percent of these successful losers eat breakfast every single day. And most of their naturally lean counterparts do the same, and make sure that eat within about an hour of waking up. “Breakfast is literally breaking the fast of the night,” says Fleming. “Until you send food into your system, your metabolism doesn’t really start to kick in.”

True. I eat breakfast every day and usually within half an hour of getting up.

They move, stand and fidget more
“Thin people are rarely sitting,” says Fleming. Beyond their regular fitness routines, they simply move around more—and consequently burn more calories—throughout the day. And a study at the Mayo Clinic confirmed this: Researchers found that on average, a group of lean subjects sat for two hours a day less than the obese subjects, potentially burning up to 350 additional calories.

False. I sit at a desk all day long.

They don’t skip meals
There are two problems with skipping meals—and thin people are careful not to fall prey to them. Going more than six hours without food will slow down your metabolism, plus you’ll likely get so desperately hungry that you’ll grab anything (as opposed to something healthy) and eat too much of it. “Thin people keep their gas tanks [i.e., their stomachs] between one-quarter and three-quarters full all the time,” says Fleming. The best way to do that is to eat frequent mini-meals every three to four hours.

True. Most every day, I eat three meals and at least three snacks.

So, Sally, looks like you did pretty well with revealing my “effortless” secrets. Except I’m not sure how “effortless” it is to eat breakfast every morning, fidget around all day, keep track of your weight and fitness routine while making sure not to clean your plate and steer clear of food when you’re bored or frustrated and eat a mini-meal every four hours… wow, that’s like no effort at all!

I thought you’d like this font. But I got bored with coloring in all the little blocks. I still love you, though.