Ten years ago, I had one e-mail address, laura@internetpro.net, and one password I used for everything: 7750. It was the last four digits of Jaimie’s phone number, which I had been calling every day since the 7th grade.
Today, I have no less than six e-mail addresses and twice as many passwords. Of the passwords, only one of them is less than six characters and contains no numbers. The only reason it is so simple is because I have not changed it since I opened the account in 1999.
In the last couple of months, I have begun paying a lot of my bills online. As a result, I save 41 cents per bill, and I filled the part of my brain that stores passwords. I cannot remember any more.
I want the internet masterminds to merge security questions and passwords. When I set up an account, ask me a few questions. And then every time I log in, instead of asking me for a password that is eight characters long, with at least one digit and one uppercase letter, ask me a random security question.
Hi, Laura, I see you’d like to see which checks have cleared. May I have the name of your first pet?
Hi, DameCatoe, it’s time to pay the power bill. What was your high school mascot?
Hi, LAURABENTLEY2 (old account), what would you like to do today? First, tell me your mom’s maiden name…
You can argue with me that anyone who went to Southside High will know the answer is Panther, defeating the purpose of security. I will argue in return that security is already defeated when I have so many passwords that I have to write them down and keep them next to my computer to remember all of them. Ask me questions that I can keep the answers to in my head.
This vent brought to you by a new company policy that will password-protect our screensavers, with passwords that expire every 90 days.
Taking suggestions of clever, complex eight character passwords with “both upper and lower case letters and at least one number or special character.”